Once upon a time, there were two men named Ben and Jerry who made a lot of people fat and happy.

I am on my way to being one of them.

Blame it on Neopolitan Dynamite...it's their best creation yet. Half Cherry Garcia, half Chocolate Fudge Brownie. IN the same tub.

It's like heaven in my mouth.

Yes, it's been like a week. I'd say sorry, but I'm not. I seriously have barely touched a computer since Thursday, and I have been suffering. But now that that's out of the way...

Had an amazing three day weekend in Oregon at Boring 2. I've got pictures of everyone, but seeing as much of technology shuns me, I'm going to put off loading the pics onto the comp and my flash drive until I have completely filled up the memory card on the camera and therefore have no other choice. Like I said, Boring was amazing. And moving on.

Guess who finally got a new phone!!! I might actually have to load a pic of it just because it's so stinking amazing. It's got a touch screen. I feel so cool when I get to pull it out of my purse and text people on it's touch screen QWERTY while other people are still using their regular num-pad, which is so five minutes ago. Actually, I have been the source of amusement for more than one person, just because I keep finding new things that it can do. For example...I just recently found out that you can actually write letters straight onto the screen while texting and it'll turn what you write into text. I couldn't resist the temptation to mess with that all through sixth period. The girls who sat next to me gave me a few wierd looks, 'cause I kept giggling.

Yes, I am that wierd. I also just downloaded Tetris. Coolest thing EVER. It's just like the regular tetris, but your controls are all on the touchscreen and you get to move it around with your fingers! I really want to get that one game with the ball that bounces off the platform that you move around. And Pacman. That would be amazing.

And yesterday, I figured out the best part of all of it. I made one little change to one of the settings, and I FINally got my phone to start recieving messages. I don't have any idea how many people have sent me things that I didn't get just because I wasn't smart enough to figure out that the little thing that said "Block all text messages" was actually stopping my messages from entering my inbox.

Yes, I am also that retarded.

Anyway. Mom's making us go to open house tonight. I daresay I haven't been to one since eighth grade. Bah humbug.

School

Ladies and gents, yet another first.

First day of school in Montana...Pretty much equated to kill-yourself-boring, but I survived. Mostly by pointing out (in my head) differences between BHS kids and ones at NU. It's really odd, though...there are at least three people who remind me so much of a couple kids in Cali, it's just uncanny. But the major difference between NU and BHS is that there are hardly any wangsters here. It's amazing. I almost started squealing when I realized that. AND, the FFA kids aren't quite as wierd. Granted, they still walk around wearing their monstrous belt buckles (that they probably actually picked up at the dollar store lol), but they definitely pull it off a little better than the wanna-be's at NU.

(Okay...there's gonna be more than one first...)

And then there was my first second day of school in Montana. Yes, that's stretching it. I don't think I'll even go there, actually. It was pretty much just as bad as the first day, minus a few key miseries. The second day was completely comprised of hearing EVERY teacher read their class syllabuses (sp?). Most of them pretty much say the same things...the only difference being minor word changes, about once a paragraph. I was spared from that by ONE teacher. We got to spell our names phonetically. VanDermyden started looking a little Greek with all those upside down e's and all that. The truly rotten part of that day, though, was when I realized that I had the same teacher for two classes. She's one of those teachers who doesn't think kids are responsible enough to read a piece of paper on their own, let alone four pages, so after giving each of us our own copy of it, she then went on to read the whole thing aloud, word for word, and explaining in detail just what every section meant. Definitely reminds me of my English teacher last year. Hoover. Like the vacuum? As in, he sucked the fun out of EVerything. Anyway. Didn't I say I wasn't going to blog about that day? Moving on.

Today was the first real first (which was actually the third) day of school. I obtained my first two assignments. One of which (math) I finished the next period. The other (a short writing thing about me) will probably get put off until the night before it's due. I'm not sure if that method is going to work out this year, but I'm sure as heck going to try...if not for the sake of actually testing it, then for sheer procrastination's sake...or perhaps my often faulty memory.

Anyway. Beddy-bye time for the writer. Ciao.

I can't rightfully say that lack of exciting happenings has been the reason I haven't blogged in quite a while, but lack of internet did have something to do with it. And then, it was laziness, when it came to actually setting up the computer (but I did, eventually). Anyway, we're now in Montana.

The last couple of weeks we've been pointing out our "lasts" in California and our "firsts" in Montana. For example:

-The last trip to Asian Garden for their amazing chow mein and generals chicken.
-The last trip down highway 49 (good riddance)
-Last drive down I-80 (even more good riddance)

Anyway, some of our firsts have included:

First night in Montana (that's pretty much a duh, right?)

First rainstorm. Followed very shortly thereafter by numbers two and three. In the same week. I love this state. No joke.

First time getting lost in Belgrade. Don't ask me how, but I did.

First time turning around in the truck stop parking lot because of the afore-mentioned. This was also followed by the second and third, within about 10 minutes of each other. In the same parking lot. How I got lost going the same direction three times in a row is beyond my knowledge.

First time going the wrong direction on the freeway. This only happened twice. (I won't mention that it was on the same day as the turnarounds. I was having a bit of an "out-of-common-sense-of-direction" sort of day.)

First Dr. Pepper in Montana. A truly momentous occasion.

First time playing the piano in Montana. Also doubles as the first time I've played a piano out of doors. The stupid thing won't fit into the apartment, so it's living in the garage. Whenever I play, the neighborhood gets a concert, whether they like it or not. I'm a little worried about what will happen to it during the winter. There will definitely be no playing it then.

There was also the general unpacking of my roon, which turned into a bit of a nerve-wrending happening. I somehow managed to pack 13 or 14 boxes...all of which had to then be UNpacked into a room roughly half the size of my old one, and a closet the width of a regular door and maybe a foot and a half deep. That being my only source of storage, it is now a solid wall of clothing and lots of miscellaneous things that didn't have any other place to go. I have one bookshelf that is loaded to the gills with books, surprisingly enough. I wasn't actually aware that I owned that many books. My dresser consists of three boxes stacked on top of each other, sideways. Two of them hold shoes (No, there wasn't room in the closet) and one holds PJs. I seriously considered taking over Stephanie's closet, as well.

Quote of the day:

Teacher: Brian, what's the "I before E rule?"
Brian: Uhh...I before E........always!
Teacher: *sigh* What, are you an idiot, Brian?
Brian: Well, 'pparently!
Teacher: No, it's "I before E, except after C, or when sounding like A, as in neighbor, and weight, and on weekends and holidays, and all throughout May, and you'll always be wrong, no matter WHAT you say!"

Actually, here's the whole thing. It's way better.

This post shall be written entirely without the use of one particular letter that is actually a pretty common one. But you have to figure out which one it is. (Hint...it's the one on Kirstyn's computer that won't very often type things)

So I'm in Montana. We came up for Uncle Norm's funeral on the eighteenth (I think that's it, anyway). Spent the first part of the week at Gramma &Grampa's, with Amber there to keep us all company. Gramps was in heaven with all the music he got to hear. It was a pretty great situation for both parties, as Amber and I were happy to have a new (slightly more appreciative) bunch of people to play for. Grampa claims that he isn't sorry at all that he went and bought us that boo-ful peeanah.

We got up to Kirstyn and Shawna's just in time to help them move. (Yippee...) We the job over with by sometime after twelve. At night. It was an interesting time for all of us, moving furniture all by our lonesome (translation: no moving crew to accomplish all the grunt work for us) with an imbecile of a Saorise running all over the place. She apparently thought that we were making tunnels for her to run through by carrying boxes between two people. She got a few kicks out of it, in the literal sense, but she never got it through her skull that she wasn't exactly helping in any way. Moving generally sucks, but my lovely sisters, through some generous passing of clothes from their closets to mine, helpe my glumness quite a bit.

Anywhoo...I gotta go hit the sack pretty soon...Mom's wanting us to leave by about six tomorrow. I'm all for leaving early, but with the time change, I'm pretty sure that seven is early enough. Of course, she's driving...I haven't got a huge say in the matter.

Anyone figure out the missing letter? Let me tell you, it was a toughy working through without it. I'll give you one more hint, because I'm aware the first one helps pretty much no one except the people that have met Kirstyn's computer. So the hint is: There is a past tense verb that is missing a letter. On purpose. Nothing else fit. (Yes, that means I cheat a bit. But only occasionally.) =)

Today marked my first solid week of work this summer. I think it's gonna end up running me into the ground, but I'll deal with it, if only because of the cool squishy nursing shoes and the adorable scrubs that are part of the package. When I got the job I was under the impression that I would be refilling water pitchers. I found out recently that that's not all.

Certainly, I refill pitchers. I get to lug seventy of them along behind me as I go to each and every room and replace the pitcher, tray and cup. I should mention that seventy full pitchers of water is approximately equivalent in weight to that of a beached whale. On wheels.

Added to my job description of "Ice Girl" is that of "Diaper Lady". It's actually "Brief's Lady", though, because none of the residents like being told that you need to check their diapers. It's a brief, but only in a politically correct world. They shall be called diapers by me, if only in my head, on lunch breaks, and at home. Anywhere else, and I could get in some kind of trouble. Anyway, the diaper run means hitting every single room to check the bottom drawer of the resident's dresser to see how many diapers they have. If they are short any, I look at my handy dandy chart to see what kind (there are four options) they wear and how many need to be in the drawer. There were a couple scandals today because of this job. First was a CNA who got a little ticked off because I had been putting mediums in the drawers of people who needed larges, and there were some extra-larges in the drawer of a very petite lady. I pointed out that I abide by the list and would happily change it for her, so she went on to list off about 8 residents that needed to be changed. It's a pretty dramatic job.

Then I get to pass out ice to the people who didn't get new pitchers. (There's a rotation going that makes it so one station gets pitchers while the other gets just fresh water and ice, then vice versa the next day) Of course, most of these people are starved for actual human contact, so they want to talk to anyone who comes into the room. CNA's don't generally count because most only go into their rooms when forced, or when a diaper needs changed. So of course I get my ears talked off while I grab their pitchers, run to the bathroom, dump out the old water and refill the pitchers (all the while being sure not to breathe through my nose...some old people just smell BAD. No joke. Especially when they forget to flush the toilet), run out into the hall to get them some ice, then back to drop off the pitchers and take off for the door. In that period of time, some of the really good ones manage to carry on a full conversation that would take normal people a good half an hour to get through. Heaven forbid I actually start talking back to them...I learned my lesson the first couple times I tried that and ended up a half hour late with all my stuff.

Finally, on the days that the laundry lady is there, I get to haul this monstrosity of a linen cart around to each of the hallways to load up the linen closets on each. That cart, when loaded, weights upwards of three hundred pounds, is a good six feet tall by three by four (ish), and, to top it all off, only has two wheels that actually turn. And to top THAT off, it hates me. I'm not sure why, because I've only actually had to drag it around twice, it has developed some sort of irrational loathing for me and tends to run itself into things that I was sure I had steered it safely around. Thankfully I haven't run over any residents yet. Emphasis on that last word.

All around it's a pretty fun place to work, though. The residents make it interesting. Some of the men have fun flirting with the female staff, even when they really can't pull it off. There's a retired nun that wreaks havoc and calls people fat, too. And then there's a woman named Mary who is just hysterical. Everyone loves her. She's the goofiest old person I've met in quite a while. Today she was in the mood for a cookie, so she asked me where she could snatch one from. I ended up stealing it for her, from the dining room. Blame her if any of this ever leads to me becoming a felon.

Anywho. Gotta go pack. Leaving for Parma tomorrow. Super 'cited!

It's official

I now have a car to go with my license.

It's a 2000 silver Saturn SC2 (whatever that means...I only know that the C stands for coupe) with three doors...go figure. I didn't know that they actually made cars with three doors. It's got a suicide door on the driver's side. Sunroof, leather seats...it's even got a speedometer! lol. It does have a CD/cassette system (which you don't really see anymore) as well as a radio, so I'm pretty much set.

The only problem is that I don't know if it's a girl car or a boy car. It's gonna be kinda hard to figure out, because as far as I can tell, most cars are built with the same parts...

But I'm thinking Humphrey.

Maybe not. It would be a good conversation starter at any rate.

It was brought to my attention this morning that I don't post very often.

Why yes, you're very correct.

But today, I have belated news. Of which Sierra should be jealous. I got my license on the third (i can't even remember what day that is...). Didn't get marked down at all. My test is currently hanging (framed) on the wall. I would like the record to show that I still have not run into anything.

And this just in...I found a pretty stinking hilarious video on youtube...



if that didn't work here's the link...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfxCnZ4Dp3c

It runs in my mind that it has been forever since I last posted. I think there have been very few things of consequence that have happened recently...

Last week was a hugely busy one, all because of choir. Sunday afternoon was our first concert (from 2-5:30...leave it to Baggett to plan a concert during the hottest part of the day. It hit 100...add to that standing on a stage with 300 other kids for three hours...definitely felt a little more like 200 degrees.)It went pretty well. A couple girls passed out from the heat, but that was all right. I think they were the ones sounding all off pitch. (Just kidding....I have no idea who they were).

Tuesday we left after first period to get to some little town in Napa Valley. Got there after a 3 hour bus ride (on school buses...we about throttled Baggett for not getting this thing chartered) sang for a grand total of ten minutes and hung around until 6:45 when they served supper. The awards ceremony was afterward...Chamber didn't place (only the second time in 15 years that that's happened...needless to say, we were all depressed.) and Concert got fifth. Got on the buses around 9 and drove back home. For some reason we took a pit stop after only half an hour at McDonalds. There was a Taco Bell across the street, so half of our bus took off running for it, only to find out that it closed at nine. So some of the kids stayed to run off some energy (translation: they ran through the drive-thru a few times before heading back...apparently it didn't work, though...one kid was still bouncing up and down when he sat down in his seat again.) I grabbed a shake from McD's instead. I managed to get Baggett to drop me off in Loomis (about an hour before everyone else...oh yes) so I got to sleep by 12:15. And up again at 5:30. It sucked.

And our last concert was on Thursday. Thankfully it was in the evening, so there was no fainting this time. Friday afternoon during choir, since we had nothing to do, we talked about the competition and how we could do better. I suggested a cattle prod. He didn't go for it. Then he also mentioned that he had gotten our actual points from Tuesday. Apparently there was a miscount and we actually got fourth. Not great still, but better than fifth.

So that's all the updates for now.

Pondering the can of Lysol

Be warned, this post is a little wierd.

I was sitting on the pot earlier this afternoon, and, having no other decent reading material, I picked up the can of Lysol disinfectant spray from off the counter (Kills 99.9% of germs in seconds!) and proceeded to read all the fine print. There were definitely some things of interest.

Among the viruses it eliminates included quite a few things from infectious diarrhea to Hep A and Herpes. Talk about the miracle spray. This thing sounds like the saviour to hypochondriacs everywhere. Until you read on.

Hazardous to humans and domestic animals.

Causes eye irritation. I wonder who the poor guy was who had to figure that out the hard way as a lab rat.

Guy in the white coat: Now, hold still while we spray some of this solution in your face. Please rank the pain on a scale of mild to excruciating. You can pick up your check for $14 at the front desk on your way out, granted your eyes are still in working order. At least they'll be sanitized, and you'll be safe from all the diseases listed on the back of the bottle.

Then there's: "It is a violation of Federal law to use this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling.

Right now, I'm imagining some guy trying to rob a bank using a can of Lysol.

"Gimme your money or I'll disinfect you!"