Today marked my first solid week of work this summer. I think it's gonna end up running me into the ground, but I'll deal with it, if only because of the cool squishy nursing shoes and the adorable scrubs that are part of the package. When I got the job I was under the impression that I would be refilling water pitchers. I found out recently that that's not all.

Certainly, I refill pitchers. I get to lug seventy of them along behind me as I go to each and every room and replace the pitcher, tray and cup. I should mention that seventy full pitchers of water is approximately equivalent in weight to that of a beached whale. On wheels.

Added to my job description of "Ice Girl" is that of "Diaper Lady". It's actually "Brief's Lady", though, because none of the residents like being told that you need to check their diapers. It's a brief, but only in a politically correct world. They shall be called diapers by me, if only in my head, on lunch breaks, and at home. Anywhere else, and I could get in some kind of trouble. Anyway, the diaper run means hitting every single room to check the bottom drawer of the resident's dresser to see how many diapers they have. If they are short any, I look at my handy dandy chart to see what kind (there are four options) they wear and how many need to be in the drawer. There were a couple scandals today because of this job. First was a CNA who got a little ticked off because I had been putting mediums in the drawers of people who needed larges, and there were some extra-larges in the drawer of a very petite lady. I pointed out that I abide by the list and would happily change it for her, so she went on to list off about 8 residents that needed to be changed. It's a pretty dramatic job.

Then I get to pass out ice to the people who didn't get new pitchers. (There's a rotation going that makes it so one station gets pitchers while the other gets just fresh water and ice, then vice versa the next day) Of course, most of these people are starved for actual human contact, so they want to talk to anyone who comes into the room. CNA's don't generally count because most only go into their rooms when forced, or when a diaper needs changed. So of course I get my ears talked off while I grab their pitchers, run to the bathroom, dump out the old water and refill the pitchers (all the while being sure not to breathe through my nose...some old people just smell BAD. No joke. Especially when they forget to flush the toilet), run out into the hall to get them some ice, then back to drop off the pitchers and take off for the door. In that period of time, some of the really good ones manage to carry on a full conversation that would take normal people a good half an hour to get through. Heaven forbid I actually start talking back to them...I learned my lesson the first couple times I tried that and ended up a half hour late with all my stuff.

Finally, on the days that the laundry lady is there, I get to haul this monstrosity of a linen cart around to each of the hallways to load up the linen closets on each. That cart, when loaded, weights upwards of three hundred pounds, is a good six feet tall by three by four (ish), and, to top it all off, only has two wheels that actually turn. And to top THAT off, it hates me. I'm not sure why, because I've only actually had to drag it around twice, it has developed some sort of irrational loathing for me and tends to run itself into things that I was sure I had steered it safely around. Thankfully I haven't run over any residents yet. Emphasis on that last word.

All around it's a pretty fun place to work, though. The residents make it interesting. Some of the men have fun flirting with the female staff, even when they really can't pull it off. There's a retired nun that wreaks havoc and calls people fat, too. And then there's a woman named Mary who is just hysterical. Everyone loves her. She's the goofiest old person I've met in quite a while. Today she was in the mood for a cookie, so she asked me where she could snatch one from. I ended up stealing it for her, from the dining room. Blame her if any of this ever leads to me becoming a felon.

Anywho. Gotta go pack. Leaving for Parma tomorrow. Super 'cited!

It's official

I now have a car to go with my license.

It's a 2000 silver Saturn SC2 (whatever that means...I only know that the C stands for coupe) with three doors...go figure. I didn't know that they actually made cars with three doors. It's got a suicide door on the driver's side. Sunroof, leather seats...it's even got a speedometer! lol. It does have a CD/cassette system (which you don't really see anymore) as well as a radio, so I'm pretty much set.

The only problem is that I don't know if it's a girl car or a boy car. It's gonna be kinda hard to figure out, because as far as I can tell, most cars are built with the same parts...

But I'm thinking Humphrey.

Maybe not. It would be a good conversation starter at any rate.

It was brought to my attention this morning that I don't post very often.

Why yes, you're very correct.

But today, I have belated news. Of which Sierra should be jealous. I got my license on the third (i can't even remember what day that is...). Didn't get marked down at all. My test is currently hanging (framed) on the wall. I would like the record to show that I still have not run into anything.

And this just in...I found a pretty stinking hilarious video on youtube...



if that didn't work here's the link...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfxCnZ4Dp3c

It runs in my mind that it has been forever since I last posted. I think there have been very few things of consequence that have happened recently...

Last week was a hugely busy one, all because of choir. Sunday afternoon was our first concert (from 2-5:30...leave it to Baggett to plan a concert during the hottest part of the day. It hit 100...add to that standing on a stage with 300 other kids for three hours...definitely felt a little more like 200 degrees.)It went pretty well. A couple girls passed out from the heat, but that was all right. I think they were the ones sounding all off pitch. (Just kidding....I have no idea who they were).

Tuesday we left after first period to get to some little town in Napa Valley. Got there after a 3 hour bus ride (on school buses...we about throttled Baggett for not getting this thing chartered) sang for a grand total of ten minutes and hung around until 6:45 when they served supper. The awards ceremony was afterward...Chamber didn't place (only the second time in 15 years that that's happened...needless to say, we were all depressed.) and Concert got fifth. Got on the buses around 9 and drove back home. For some reason we took a pit stop after only half an hour at McDonalds. There was a Taco Bell across the street, so half of our bus took off running for it, only to find out that it closed at nine. So some of the kids stayed to run off some energy (translation: they ran through the drive-thru a few times before heading back...apparently it didn't work, though...one kid was still bouncing up and down when he sat down in his seat again.) I grabbed a shake from McD's instead. I managed to get Baggett to drop me off in Loomis (about an hour before everyone else...oh yes) so I got to sleep by 12:15. And up again at 5:30. It sucked.

And our last concert was on Thursday. Thankfully it was in the evening, so there was no fainting this time. Friday afternoon during choir, since we had nothing to do, we talked about the competition and how we could do better. I suggested a cattle prod. He didn't go for it. Then he also mentioned that he had gotten our actual points from Tuesday. Apparently there was a miscount and we actually got fourth. Not great still, but better than fifth.

So that's all the updates for now.

Pondering the can of Lysol

Be warned, this post is a little wierd.

I was sitting on the pot earlier this afternoon, and, having no other decent reading material, I picked up the can of Lysol disinfectant spray from off the counter (Kills 99.9% of germs in seconds!) and proceeded to read all the fine print. There were definitely some things of interest.

Among the viruses it eliminates included quite a few things from infectious diarrhea to Hep A and Herpes. Talk about the miracle spray. This thing sounds like the saviour to hypochondriacs everywhere. Until you read on.

Hazardous to humans and domestic animals.

Causes eye irritation. I wonder who the poor guy was who had to figure that out the hard way as a lab rat.

Guy in the white coat: Now, hold still while we spray some of this solution in your face. Please rank the pain on a scale of mild to excruciating. You can pick up your check for $14 at the front desk on your way out, granted your eyes are still in working order. At least they'll be sanitized, and you'll be safe from all the diseases listed on the back of the bottle.

Then there's: "It is a violation of Federal law to use this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling.

Right now, I'm imagining some guy trying to rob a bank using a can of Lysol.

"Gimme your money or I'll disinfect you!"

There was this thing at school yesterday...any vaccination you need for only ten bucks. So, since i hadn't gotten ANY since seventh grade, Mom decided it would be a good thing to do. I did too, for some reason.

I obtained 4 shots yesterday, for things I wasn't even aware might be a problem. My arms were a little sore yesterday, but I woke up this morning and definitely decided I'm wasn't about to go to school.

How can a couple little shots in the arm make my back, neck, arms, legs, and head hurt? ALL AT THE SAME TIME!

Urg.

Just for the record, all these state tests are wearing on my nerves. Today was the first day of them. I take this as a bad sign. Today was horrible. Kinda. Just annoying, really. Case in point...

Testing schedule is really wonky. Instead of having six periods of 55 minutes plus a half hour lunch, we have four 90 minute periods in which to test on things of little relevance. Today was first, second, lunch, third, fourth. The whole lunch after second was the first thing to throw me off, since I generally have it fourth or fifth. (Kinda depends on the choir teacher's mood)

Anyway.

First period was Chem. (Not too horrible, but having Chem first thing in the morning isn't a fun thing to do. I apparently don't sleep in a toaster, therefore I don't pop out of bed in the morning...I wake up fully around 8:30. Coincidentally, that's when 1st period normally ends.) McDowell decided to have us do an activity that involved acetic acid and two chemicals called crystal violet and orange IV. When those two chemicals are added to different dilutions of any acid, they change colors, depending on the hydrogen concentration. We ended up with a rainbow of test tubes. It was unbelievably cool. I took pictures.

Second (History) was when the trouble started. First, on the way down, Chloe purposefully ignored one of her friends as we passed him in the hallway, hi-fiving the guy right behind him instead. Laura got all ticked off and told her to go back an apologize. So we trecked back to the drama room to find him. Which we did. But Chloe sure took a heck of a long time talking, so Laura and I ducked out and hid around the corner to jump out at her when she came out. That plan backfired when she went out the OTHER door and left us standing there waiting until the bell rang.

Oh right. Seven minute passing periods on testing schedule, and no minute bell. Translation: we were late to a class that had a very unforgiving teacher, and we were standing halfway across the campus. We definitely booked it. We got there about three minutes later. Thankfully, it was one of those days when Loftis showed up late. He walked in about 30 seconds after we sat down. We then let Chloe have it. Bah.

Then, I completely forgot we had a test. Meaning, I didn't do the outline or notecards for the chapter, let alone actually READ the thing. I definitely was walking blind, other than the little bit of reading I got done off of Chloe's outline after the activity first period. I didn't fail too badly...Then we got lectured about "Why there wasn't a WW3" and all about the Cold War and stuff. Loftis apparently never tires of this era...he's been finding ways to work it into pretty much every chapter since the beginning of the school year. From 8000 BC up to now, he's found some similarity between the Romans trying to take over some country, and how Hitler and Mussolini killed millions of people on a whim. He also entertained us with stories about how he made it through college by keeping a wad of notecards in his pocket and studying them every time he had five free minutes. It didn't keep me from doing Sudoku after the test instead of other homework, but it did answer a lot of questions as to why he's such a social outcast. The sad thing is, he doesn't even realize it. Hmm.

Lunch was next. Laura, Chloe and I decided that we wanted to go to Taco Bell at lunch, instead of waiting through the outrageous lines that happen when we have combined lunches. So as soon as the bell rang, we ran out of the classroom and up to the drama room to find the guy Chloe was hoping would drive us. He didn't want to go, so I just went back to the library (back the way we had just come) and got a cookie from the vending machine. Then back (again) to the choir room this time and met Laura. Into the choir room, back to the library, back to the choir room, past it to I-wing to try to find a place to sit, back to the choir room. Then the bell rang.

Third was the only class that I actually had testing in. 30 questions on stuff that I learned in second grade. I finished in about twenty minutes. And sat there for the last hour with nothing to do but to play tetris and read my book. Oy.

Choir was last, which I thought would be good, but it wasn't. Baggett had us stand up or sit down in sections to work on parts. Except he ALWAYS wanted to work with the altos. We stood for a full 45 minutes while everyone else sat more than they stood. It was lame.

Anyway, I'm off to bed. Maybe.

It is officially Friday of Spring Break...I've decided I must be a disappointment to all those stereotypical "Party Hardy" teenagers who go to Miami for break. I go to Oregon. No sunshiny beaches for me...I go for the rainy days at the library. Not even kidding, I have been to the library every single day this week. Well kinda...I was too lazy to go on Wednesday, but I made up for that today by making two trips down. Mostly because I forgot the stuff I was supposed to be returning. Anyway, I count it as two trips to the library. I'm getting smarticle! We've also made a couple trips to the grocery store for our York patties, which are pretty much a mandatory staple at any Kara-Sierra happening. I won't mention that we've gone through three bags of them. And two bags of peach rings (another necessity).

I now have $6 to my name and the train doesn't leave to go back home until Sunday afternoon. My grip shall remain vice-like on the remnants of my pennies.

We're heading over to Madras this afternoon to see Drew and Laura Sullivan's play. No need to mention Sierra's thoughts on this. They're pretty much readable.

Anyway, I'm gonna head back to the house for some food...It's sounding pretty good. I haven't exactly eaten breakfast beyond a muffin and half a dinner roll. And it is now 12:26. I'm off.

16 going on 23. Huzzah.

HOW OLD DO YOU ACT?

[x] You know how to make a pot of coffee.
[x] You keep track of dates using a calendar.
[ ] You own a credit card.
[ ] You know how to change the oil in a car.
[x] You've done your own laundry.
[ ] You can vote in an election.
[x] You can cook for yourself.
[ ] You think politics are interesting.

TOTAL SO FAR: 4


[ ] You show up for school late a lot.
[x] You always carry a pen/pencil in your bag/purse/pocket.
[ ] You've never gotten a detention.
[x] You have forgotten your own birthday.
[x] You like to take walks by yourself.
[x] You know what credibility means, without looking it up.
[x] You drink caffeine at least once a week

TOTAL SO FAR: 9

[x] You know how to do the dishes.
[x] You can count to 10 in another language.
[x] When you say you're going to do something you do it.
[x] You can mow the lawn.
[x] You study even when you don't have to.
[x] You have hand washed a car before.

TOTAL SO FAR: 15


[x] You can spell experience, without looking it up.
[ ] The people at Starbucks know you by name.
[x] Your favorite kind of food is take out.
[x] You can go to the store without getting something you don't need.
[]You understand political jokes the first time they are said.
[x] You can type pretty quick.

TOTAL SO FAR:19

[ ] Your only friends are from your place of employment.
[x] You have been to a Tupperware party.
[x] You have realized that practically no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job.
[ ] You have more bills than you can pay.
[x] You have been to the beach.
[x] You use the internet every day.
[ ] You have been outside of the united states
[ ] You make your bed in the morning.

TOTAL: 23

*** Repost this with the subject as: I'm (how old you are) but I act (what you got on the test)

So I've been reading everyone's gloomy blogs about how Spring break is already over, and how it should've lasted longer, etc...

I laugh heartily in your general direction. Us Californians have Spring Break NEXT week. =) Anticipation is 90% of the reward.

Anyway, this last week was kind of a vacation, too, because of all the company we had (especially since company is a rare thing for us folks). And I suppose we owe it all to Oregon Spring Break, as well as the 50th anniversary. So we had the Bartons, Kirstyn, Shawna, Rob(by), and Seersha, which was quite a household. Most of us slept in the garage. On air mattresses. With a couple bookshelves to block the windows facing the road and a portable heater to keep us warm. Needless to say, I'll be very happy to get back to my own bed tonight.

I suppose the only other downside to company is all the pizza. Generally it's a once in a while thing, but no...this week we had it for supper two or three times, not counting the times (4) that I had it for lunch at school. Kill me now. Of course, there was also a little bit of In'n'out, but I didn't get any of that. Color me jealous.

Bartons left Sunday afternoon after meeting, and Kirstyn, Rob(by), Shawna, Chantal, Allyson, and Seersha left today. The whole thing kinda ended with a bang. Somewhat. I made cookies last night, because Allyson kept begging me to. Except she really only wanted the dough. She stole quite a few spoonfuls of it, while I fought back as hard as I could. I eventually ended up getting tossed off her back onto the floor, to everyone elses hilarity. I walked away with whatever dignity I had left. (Virtually nonexistant)I think I went to the bathroom or something after that, because I went to get a drink a while later, and then out to talk to everyone out in the living room. Of course, it took me a while to figure out that the people on the couch in front of me had my bowl of cookie dough. As soon as I did, though, I yanked it away and hid it back in the cupboard. I had to let them gloat for a while after that, but it didn't last long, because Allyson got a mostly full glass of water dumped on her. Served her right. MY victory didn't last long either.

The analogy of a bull charging after a helpless farmer as he scrambles to get over the fence comes to mind. Except replace the bull with Allyson. I of course got a glass of water down my shirt as well. But man, it was worth it.